The Ghosts Inside of Us

by Modus Aurora

supported by
/
  • Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

     $5 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Ghosts Inside of Us via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days

     $10 USD or more

     

1.
2.
03:26
3.
03:16
4.
03:08
5.
03:05
6.
03:06
7.
03:18
8.
03:02
9.
04:39
10.
03:18
11.
03:07

about

“The people you love
become ghosts inside
of you and like this
you keep them alive”
- Robert Montgomery

credits

released 28 January 2014

Katie Steel - vocals
John Laughlin - guitar
Troy Sennett - bass, guitar
Cale Sennett - drums

Music by Modus Aurora
Lyrics by Katie Steel (tracks 1-10) and Troy Sennett (track 11)
Engineered by Cale Sennett
Mixed and mastered by Matt Kennedy

Photography by Cory Thomas
Layout and Design by Cale Sennett

tags

license

all rights reserved

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Shed the Light
This record’s been on a locked groove for as long as anyone can remember. A midwestern town stuck on repeat, humming the same melody over the same dragging beat.

And I sat there and watched the ones I loved making progress or so they thought.

It’s easy to overlook the fact that no one ever really changes. They dig into complacency and tell themselves they’re happy because they’re supposed to be.

And we go on, accept the discontent of the lives we’re told to invent.

Who am I without the lie of who I want to be? Shed the light to see. Happy is what happy does, but no one knew where the happiness was.
Track Name: Ursa Minor
Keep it together, kid. This is a day for change, and I’ve taken long enough of a break. No matter how early I get up, I always seem to be late.

And if I can make it to winter, I’ll hibernate the months away. No one will see my face. They will forget my name.

Pick my motivation off the floor and wrap it around me as I walk out the door. No matter how long the day is, I swear I’ll stick it out.

And if I can make it to winter, I’ll hibernate the months away. No one will see my face. They will forget my name.

I’ll always hate the first snowfall, but this time I smiled. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t sad or tired, and I feel better, so much better. I’ll pick myself up off the floor and keep it together. I’ll always hate the first snowfall, but this time I smiled. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t sad or tired, and I feel better than I have in months.
Track Name: Ride It Out
I’d better see you around because I’m not going anywhere. As long as you need me, I’ll be there. I’ll keep you in my head and will these words to you, my friend. You’ve got protection under your friends’ inventions.

If there’s a storm, ride it out. I don’t think you know, but you can’t hide now.

Live in the spaces where events replay, overlapping memories in the same place. I’d rather you turn and walk away than ignore what I have to say. Truth is, you’ll listen someday.

If there’s a storm, ride it out. I don’t think you know, but you can’t hide now. Just ride it out.

If it makes you feel any better, just remember it’s only bad weather.

If there’s a storm, ride it out. I don’t think you know, but you can’t hide now. Just ride it out.
Track Name: Ontario
I’m more awake than I’ve been in a time. You cause no worry for me. And for the first time in a long time, I was able to sleep last night.

When you talk about me, I hope you can say, “I remember when she said, ‘Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remain.’”

With one hand I defend. The other conquers. There’s a balance to find or this won’t last any longer. All hope was restored. We’ve grown only stronger.

And when you talk about me, I hope you can say, “I remember when she said, ‘Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remain.’” And I meant it when I said, “Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remain.”

Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remain.

And just remember when I said, “Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remained.” And I meant it when I said, “Loyal I began, loyal I’ll remain.”
Track Name: Driving Home
Itching at the phone in my pocket, hoping I don’t get that call that turns me into a machine. The one that makes me turn cold like I did that one November. I swear that winter settled in, and I’m still freezing.

Driving home on Emerson felt just like it did on Fort Jesse. The only difference was my age and the melodies I was singing. Those who are here at twenty-two hate what happened to us at eighteen. I feel like there’s nothing I haven’t seen.

There’s one stoplight between my apartment and work, but it takes me twenty minutes to get there. I’m tired of giving excuses to people who don’t really care. Trust me, I know who is there for me, like Cory and Ali.

Driving home on Emerson felt just like it did on Fort Jesse. The only difference was my age and the melodies I was singing. Those who are here at twenty-two hate what happened to us at eighteen. I feel like there’s nothing I haven’t seen.

At those nights at Dylan’s when we would be out until three, sitting on the roof like we were free. And I want to go back to those times and maybe regrow the older parts of us that might have died.

Driving home on Emerson felt just like it did on Fort Jesse. The only difference was my age and the melodies I was singing. Those who are here at twenty-two hate what happened to us at eighteen. I feel like there’s nothing I haven’t seen.
Track Name: November
I open a book and turn the page to find the Soap Opera Digest card she used so she could find her place, but she lost it. Take the things you know your friends and write them down. Did you find them to put them in a song? There’s so much more going down around here.

Holding on can be too much work, and in the end, your hands only hurt. I’m so tired this time of year. I wasn’t born for routine. How can I make the world see? It’s not what doesn’t kill you, it’s taking something away that makes you better.

When you haven’t slept enough to hold up your head, it feels like your personality’s dead, don’t give up too much of yourself. You’re the only one who can let you down. It doesn’t matter what your lie. All that matters is you have the strength to be it.

Holding on can be too much work, and in the end, your hands only hurt. I’m so tired this time of year. I wasn’t born for routine. How can I make the world see? It’s not what doesn’t kill you, it’s taking something away that makes you better.

I have filed away twelve people in my brain as numbers. Not coping is the worst thing I could do. Almost as bad as when I lost her.

Holding on can be too much work, and in the end, your hands only hurt. I’m so tired this time of year. And you know what, no matter what else I have done, I woke up today, and that means I won. That means I won.
Track Name: Dig Too Deep
When I came back to the real world, it was shouting words I tried to ignore. I said, “It’s Thursday. Let me sleep,” but it kept pushing: “You’ve got work to do, Katie.” It said, “Grind your way out of this town, and leave a path so it’s easier to come back around.”

But I don’t want to dig too deep. I’m not so tall. I’m afraid I’ll fall. It’s not even the end of the week.

This is when my life is falling apart, so help me off the couch again. It’s hard to grab my hands when my head is in them. Once the bags on my eyes stop blocking my sight, maybe I’ll finally see how I can get by.

But I don’t want to dig too deep. I’m not so tall. I’m afraid I’ll fall. It’s not even the end of the week.

You can’t make me dig too deep. I won’t put down roots anywhere. You can’t make me dig too deep.
Track Name: Johnny
It’s so disappointing. You’re two steps away from leaving your blood. Pick us off like a scab, and break into a run. I remember when you slipped out the back door and left like we were nothing, like we meant nothing.

You make us feel so alone. I know I don’t know, but there’s still a chance to. If you would stop stepping away and speak to me face to face, I can never imagine a day when I would turn you away. No, I won’t.

Sit in the smoke where you think we can’t see this horrible person you’ve turned out to be. It’s never too late, never too late to change what you’ve done. Do a one-eighty and keep at a run.

You make us feel so alone. I know I don’t know, but there’s still a chance to. If you would stop stepping away and speak to me face to face, I can never imagine a day when I would turn you away. No, I won’t turn you away.

When I said I was lonely and scared, you turned off your phone and didn’t care.

You make us feel so alone. I know I don’t know, but there’s still a chance to. If you would stop stepping away and speak to me face to face, I can never imagine a day when I would turn you away. I remember when you slipped out the back door.
Track Name: Talk
Because I have seen you cry when I thought you wouldn’t cave in, it was always about a situation someone else had put you in. The lack of support your other friends showed makes me wonder how much they care. If they slipped on your shoes and looked in the mirror, could they expect you to want to be there?

Talk to someone, talk to me. Any time you call, I have a moment to be free. I’ll hold you as close as you want. I won’t let you drown. I won’t let you drop.

You say, “I’ll pay for a visit,” but money shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to someone who should listen. And find someone better than him. Then there’s that thing we don’t talk about. What he did to you makes my whole body shake. If I could, I would hunt him and gut him and make sure he never did that again.

Talk to someone, talk to me. Any time you call, I have a moment to be free. I’ll hold you as close as you want. I won’t let you drown. I won’t let you drop.
Track Name: Customary
Nothing beats the night of the jumper. The look on the face of the campus was as blank as a slate. Who could blame it? And your mom gave me a hug while she cried because she was happy for all that she had to be thankful of. The whole town was shaken, but it was all forgotten.

We’ve buried too many friends. We’ve seen more than our share of things that had to end. And like this we keep them alive in every star-filled sky. I’ll wish on you tonight.

It was ten of us in three years. Don’t tell me there is nothing here to fear. They were brothers and sisters of ours, a coffee shop choir, a unison chorus, and now we’re singing their sad song. The whole town was shaken, and it was all forgotten.

We’ve buried too many friends. We’ve seen more than our share of things that had to end. And like this we keep them alive in every star-filled sky. I’ll wish on you tonight.

When we hear the news, it’s so customary, so ordinary. I wish it didn’t have to be.

We’ve buried too many friends, and like this we keep them alive in every star-filled sky. I’ll wish on you tonight.
Track Name: West of Main
I found a place where I belong. It’s not down here, it’s in a song that carries me away from here, above the clouds, above the fears of growing up and moving on, to leave this town and what’s to come of all these hopes and all these dreams. I hope tonight that we could sing a new song.

It comes from somewhere west of Main, sung so loud like it’s calling my name, and I am running home to find a place that’s meant for me where it’s okay to dream these dreams. We tried to get there all along so that tonight, we could sing a new song.

Someday I’ll get back to what I’m running from. It all comes around in the end, but I still don’t believe these songs were meant to just live inside my head. And if they are, I feel like I’ve been deceived by everyone who told me to try to make a better life out of these lonely dreams of mine. I’ve got no one left to blame this one. No one else can prove me wrong, so take a chance and sing along so that tonight, we could sing a new song.

A new song.